If you’re a regular at Blackbird, you may have heard that we’re running a program called 40 Days. It’s based off of Baron Baptiste’s book, 40 Days to Personal Revolution, and it’s a program a lot of Baptiste inspired and affiliated studios run around this time of year. What it basically entitles is getting a bunch of people together to promise to practice yoga, journal, eat right, and meditate for 40 days. It’s pretty insane.

My mom’s running the program. She’s done it 5 or 6 times. This is my first go at it. Honestly, I’m about 4 days into the 40 right now and I’m a little unsure about how I feel about it. The dieting is a no-go, especially since this weekend was the Superbowl. My meditation practice is awful – this morning I fell back asleep. And my journaling is all over the map. We had to write about our core beliefs for our first assignment. Beliefs about my body? I’m banging. Is my work fulfilling? Obviously, I’m a yoga teacher. Where am I flirting with danger? I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER.

I can’t tell exactly why I’m feeling this way when a lot of the people in the program with me seem to be having these massive life-changing revelations already. As the daughter of the studio owner, I almost feel like I’m obligated to be having a massive life-changing revelation right now. I’m partly wondering if it’s because I recently did a yoga training and got all my life-changing kinks and pops out. Or maybe I’m missing something that’s staring me right in the face.

I’m really lucky. I’m 23 and I’ve been teaching yoga for almost 3 years already. I’m been practicing yoga for 6 or 7 years. I’m been to more life coaching sessions and yoga sessions and mediation sessions and “how do you feel about life” sessions then I care to mention. I live with a yoga teacher and life coach. Seriously. We talk about serious life questions and chakras and revelations while we’re folding laundry and putting the dishes away. It’s my bread and butter. I’m really good at this stuff. So why is MOM having life-changing revelations while just down the hallway I’m sitting here in the office stuck in a rut?

No really. I was just in her room talking about the 40 days and she asked me how my experience was going and I was like “I’m LITERALLY blogging about my 40 day frustration RIGHT NOW down the hall” and she told me to “be present to that as a current moment and oh could you please go turn the laundry over”.

I don’t know. It’s been 4 days. I think I’m over-thinking it.

Peace out, internet. Laundry calls.

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